Friday, April 17, 2009

Lessons I've Learned

Recently my thoughts have been jumpy. Like the eggs in those old "this is your brain on drugs" public service announcements... but they managed to just me smashed... I have managed to be fried, scrambled, over easy, and at some points completely hard-boiled.
It's really no wonder why I have been so out of control lately, I am not paying enough attention to the bigger picture.
Everyone has their own set of laws and beliefs, I tend to waiver between having an idea and a guideline.
Since the brutal turn of events last weekend, I have decided to spend some well deserved selfish time alone. That isn't to say that I won't be distracted.
Wednesday night was rock bottom, essentially. Two bottles of wine and a few hoots of a joint and I was done. When I awoke in the morning, and noticed the full moon painting leaned against the wall, I was apprehensive about looking at the person laying beside me.
Re-heat of Signore Composto.
I didn't feel bad about it though, I mean it's not like we didn't know where we stood with each other.
After making it home, I took a much needed nap, had a shower and washed the laundry. It was a very comfortable day, and I enjoyed the disabled intensity.
I spent the night smoking weed with Alex, which was far more entertaining than I had expected, it finally made sense, we were never meant to be together forever.
I learned recently that even if you really love each other, sometimes life gets in the way, and if you aren't heading in the same direction, it is just best to end it before it gets insane.
I am feeling actually relaxed today, and even though sometimes it is a little hard to learn to be lonely, I am refusing to put all my eggs in one basket.

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