I had not heard from my friend in about a month. I knew he was sick. I knew his little body was breaking down, I didn't realized how rapidly it was occurring. I suppose part of me thought the less I heard about it, the slower the infection would be spreading.
Foolishly I believed that it wasn't "that bad."
With this recent update I find myself wondering if I will ever see him again, each and everytime it gets worse I drop everything and fly to city he is in. It used to require a passport, now it requires so much mental preparation.
I am likely worried about him, and I probably fear that the worst is about to about happen... I just can't feel anything in regards to this right now. After the past 3 years, I eventually made my peace with it, and already I am starting to feel callous, like maybe I should be feeling more.
1 comment:
just hug me u silly fool. i expect nothing could be harder than to be on the other side of where i m at looking in. i havent given up hope yet,and im a mcleod, like oprah and cockroaches we dont just die. i have things to do still and california is calling me. (turns on a old lp of joni mitchell- California) and rolls a joint. I love you you philanthropist u. oh and next time u see me, it will be me comming to se you, hows that sound for a change? HOPE is what i have. and i believe im stronger than all this. right now, all i have is that. and im counting on it. so good thoughts for me send em my way k. i need all i can get right now. and p.s: i love your blog buddy boy, its a window into your soul. i always loved what i saw there. always will. u mr. man inspire me! and i have to admit ive lived vicariously through you the last few years and thank god one of us was having a life, cause jesus christ, i sure as hell wasnt doing much. so I thank ya there also. peace and love ryan. my life friend.
love chad.
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