Dating

THE PERSONAL AD:
Single, gay male, masculine in thought, but very excitable. Looking for like-minded man 19-30, for late dinners, red wine and vacations. Please like to cuddle, but be able to give me space when I desire.

I usually know my fate in any social situation, I can tell when someone does not find me entertaining, I can tell when I have said too much and I always know when I have offended someone. I am never scared of pissing someone off or "waking someone up," but one thing I have yet to understand is the rule-book of dating.
The demise of any relationship is always a sad affair, but it can so easily turn from sad to pathetic.
I have a habit of building people up in my mind when in actuality they are train-wrecks I should have seen coming.
I can change him, he is only playing hard-to-get, it's all just a test.... lies lies lies.
Do I call him or text him back immediately? Do I let him choose the restaurant and wine? Do I pretend to be interested in topics that I so obviously am not down with? Expending all of that energy wondering if he is the one that will sweep me off my feet can be exhausting, and usually leads to me wondering if I am supposed to be living in this crazy city after-all.
Entering relationships with an "all or nothing" approach usually leads to me feeling frantic when I first wake up in the morning with a stoner's smile, a smoker's cough and drunk's passion to include the full shot of Baileys in my tiny cup of coffee.
Why do we care whether or not he likes us back? Why is it so easy to fall in love and not the other way around? I was once encouraged to list the things that I want in a lover, and upon review I realized that I usually lower my standards due to the fear... the fear of being alone.

The crush: That guy who catches all of my attention just by being in the same room as me. He is generally good-looking, charming and educated. I start to play out the situation in my mind and before you know it I all all but cooked with desire and the mind-games begin. In my life the brain-fucks should be an Olympic event.

The Usual Suspects:
a) Mr. Has-his-shit-together: Finished with school and loans paid off in full. A nice condo downtown and a well-paying job in which he helps other people. The end result "I don't think this is going to work out, we are clearly in separate places in our lives."

b) The Kid: Figuring out his place in the world, asking questions and open to most situations.. the breakdown: "I'm not ready for a commitment, I think that I need to figure out more about myself, it was great while it lasted, cheers."

c) Mr. Mirror-image: He loves to travel, keeps a journal and always provokes conversation, he is disassociated with his body and has regrets mixed with anxiety. The breakup is always a disaster, and not just crying and talking to your best friend until three in the morning, this is a vodka induced, drunk dialing, facebook-creeping, weed smoking marathon of pathetic. Game Over & Restraining Order.