I didn't want it to be over, but I knew it was. The sound of his voice, the smell of his skin, late night adventures around the neighbourhood, moments by candlelight had all been halted.
Maybe I will someday find someone who appreciates my desire to build a life together, who won't bounce at the sign of trouble and understand the basic foundation of a relationship, and it kills me that this person isn't you. A resident of reality who understands the power of emotions and knows what meeting halfway means. Perhaps, one day you will be able to reintroduce yourself. Maybe you will become a tax paying, vote casting member of society who says "hello" to passersby on a sunny afternoon stroll. Good luck with your studies, don't give up on that too. Take your time with your baby steps, just don't be surprised when it feels impossible to "catch up" on other things.
Sometimes, it just is.
I'll miss ya mister.
2 comments:
I can't decide whether he either doesn't think he deserves something good in his life (like you). Or whether he just doesn't know what to do with something good (like you) in his life. It seems as though every time things seem to be really coming together between the two of you - he just implodes. I adore him, you know that. But I flat out love you - and I just don't think he is ready or mature enough to know how good he's got it. Maybe it's because things were so shitty for him for so long. I don't know
Sometimes it's not about who is wrong or right. Who is the saint and who is the asshole. Who tried harder and who didn't try enough. Sometimes one person is just that. And other, just them. Sometime's two I's just can't make a we. It's the mature breakups that the hurt the most. The ones where there is no infidelity. The ones where we simply just realize tha two paths can't run together. We can run through all the events over and over wondering what could have/should have/would have been. Or we can just learn to breathe again. Either way, wine and cigarettes are always a good counsellor or perhaps some retail therapy. Call me if you want or need. Love you.
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