gardening

I woke up with the notion that I was at a breaking point.
Nothing seemed worth writing about-barely worth discussing, and yet I did. I came to the realization that there were some definite decisions on the horizon, and they were abounding.
Of those boys in my life, I am confused. Perhaps there are just too many of them, perhaps there are just not enough for me to be distracted away from trying not to develop feelings. I have been forced to relearn the importance of ignoring the first impression, and have embraced the impression of the first time they are up to bat for me. Sadly, this only knocked one boy off the list.
I started to tell myself that I deserved to feel heard and appreciated; only one more boy fell off the list. It took me weeding through the importance of being touched, understood and respected before I actually began to notice the bachelors fall one by one. I then concluded that it had little if anything to do with these guys being ALL of the things I wanted in a relationship-- but more with these guys not being in direct opposition to them.