in search of...

Recently I found myself on a very dead-end date, something I realized all of three minutes into it.
The boy was cute, and sadly that is where it ended.
His major accomplishment in life had been being a hair model for redken, and the red flags were abounding.
He was the same age as me, and I was hoping that there would be more in common-there wasn't.
I was convinced that he kept leaving the room to snort cocaine, and at one point I brought the conversation to a screeching halt; "True or false, you are high on coke right now?" He denied it, and to be fair, he was taking ecstasy.

So there I was, trapped at some bar downtown with this hyper little fruit bat. I sipped my grasshopper, and started day dreaming about being there with someone that I found interesting. Inspiration finally hit me two and a half hours into this date from hell. I called up a friend and demanded he come and kidnap me, it seemed like the only logical decision. Thirty minutes later, and I had been kidnapped from the date and moved to a second location.

I was dancing away, when jealousy entered the room. My jilted date, with a little help from a co-worker, had found me at a dance club forty minutes after I had pulled a Houdini and vanished. He made his way over to me within five minutes and managed to pull it together enough to ask "what's up?"

It took me a fragment of a second to come up with a response, and it found me tearing into him about being the most boring person I had ever met. I ended up drinking far too much for the remainder of the night and suffered every consequence the next morning.