thoughts @ 420 part II

I enjoy the smell of fresh cut grass, lilacs and the air right before it starts to rain. This city has been providing me with these sensual aromas for the past few weeks, and for that I am thankful.
I can feel my time here, in this crazy redneck city coming to an end, and I am starting to wonder where I will head next.
Originally the plan was Europe. I started to lose interest when I realized that I would be breathing in one musky smell across the pond that should remain as a memory of being here.
The kid.
Last night was another (mis?) adventure in yum yum delirium, but this time it wasn't my own psychosis on the line.
Sitting directly beside someone who has been dangling the carrot infront of my face for over six months, and hearing the thoughts falling out of his mouth, I started to feel pretty bad for him, not the usual sympathy-this time empathy played a starring role.
I remember a few years ago when I felt completely lost, confused and like I had to man-up in order to be taken seriously.
I crawled out of that shell of an excuse and realized that I had to stop trying to prove myself, and that it was enough to look around at the things that I had in my life already. Once I learned to not take everything for granted, things seemed to be not so stressful.
I hope that I can influence some sort of boost in esteem for this latest victim of post-teenaged angst.

Now that Europe has been temporarily put on back-burner, I am full of possible destinations.
A big part of me wants to go back to Los Angeles, but each time I consider that as an option some beautiful memory creeps up and brings me right back to reality.

I have been stressing out over the most ridiculous things for several weeks, and today I have decided to take my own advice (for once), and stop and take inventory of the things that I actually do have going on for and around me.

Hope my discoveries aren't too terrifying.
Another brick removed from the wall seperating me from the others.